A Dangerous Secret
by Tatyana Bulanova
Summary: A very serious drama that centers around Josh and Mindy. No slash.  Now complete!
1. The Best Summer Ever

**Author's note: It's come to this, has it? I fully cannot believe I'm writing a Drake & Josh ****fanfic. ****My God.**** Well, it branches out from Captain Planet, right? And this one looks like one I might actually finish, so that's a plus. I wasn't a fan of Drake & Josh in the beginning, but I like to have the television on in the background as I work on the computer, and it tends to come up a lot. And, what can I say? It grew on me. I really like Josh and Mindy's relationship. I think it's sweet, but I wanted to flesh it out a little more. I wanted to come up with a good, serious, dramatic, engrossing plot, and this came to mind, and that's all I'll say. While I did try to keep everyone in-character, I did take out a lot of the ridiculous sight-gags and silly behaviors that occur in the show that would otherwise take away from a serious plot. I also just want to say one more thing, and that is that I haven't seen every episode, nor do I remember in full detail each episode I have seen. So, if I get anything inaccurate, chalk it up to a minor blunder and make sure your "suspended disbelief" switch is in the "on" position. Read and review at your own leisure, but the plot is what it is, and what I have written probably won't change (unless there is some major mistake somewhere or massive plot hole I overlooked), so don't bother wasting time telling me how I should have written something. I apologize for FF's crappy formatting. I personally think all the double spacing is atrocious, but what's to be done? Oh, well! Oh, and I don't own Drake & Josh, ****yadda****yadda****yadda****, so on and so forth. Okay, that's all out of the way, now! Well, on with the show!**

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_**The Best Summer Ever**_

Josh opened his eyes to the sunlight streaming in through his room, closed them again, took in a deep breath and let out a happy sigh. It was the first day of summer. That meant he had three months to look forward to of sleeping in, doing whatever he wanted, relaxing, and of course, spending tons of time with Mindy. The best part of all, however, was that Megan was away at summer camp for three entire weeks, so the only thing he had to put up with was Drake and his part-time job at The Premiere. But both of those minor setbacks were okay with him. Drake rarely truly got on his nerves, and he liked his job at The Premiere.

Something else that excited him was that Mindy would also be working at The Premiere this summer with him. They didn't share the exact same schedule - she started earlier than he did - but their schedules did overlap and they had two hours of work together most days. The sound of Drake's heavy snoring brought Josh back to the moment and out of his happy daydreams. He looked at the clock which proclaimed the time to be 10:43 AM and smiled again. _I don't think I'm quite ready to get up yet,_ he thought, and rolled over and went back to sleep.

About an hour and several dreams later, Josh woke up for the second time feeling ready to get up and moving. As he stood up and went to the closet to get dressed, he noticed Drake was still sleeping and tossed his pajama shirt onto his face.

"Get up! It's the first day of summer," he said, pulling on a shirt.

Drake responded with a moan and flipped on his side. Then he sat up and looked at the clock.

"You're up before noon? Wimp," he smirked, rubbing his eyes.

"Who wants to sleep beyond noon on the first day of summer?" asked Josh, zipping up his jeans.

"Pfft, who doesn't?" Drake scoffed. "Anyway, I'm up, I'm up."

Drake hopped out of his own bed and went to the closet to get dressed as well.

"And no Megan for three whole weeks!" Josh exclaimed.

"Heh, the Lord is kind," responded Drake. "Hey, you gotta work today?"

"Nope, I'm off all day!"

"Cool, so, whatcha wanna do?" said Drake, looking in the mirror and running his fingers through his hair.

Josh nudged him out of the way, running a comb through his own hair, trying to make it look perfect.

"Can't do too much. I've already made plans with Mindy. We're gonna meet up at the mall in about three hours."

Drake continued running fingers through his bed head.

"Already making plans with her? You waste no time. Then again, neither do I. I got a date with Tina at 4:30, and then at 8:00, I'm taking Diane out to a movie." He grinned at Josh in the mirror, who rolled his eyes and smirked.

After a couple of minutes of grooming, Josh and Drake observed themselves in the mirror. Josh smiled at his neatly combed locks, and Drake flashed a wink and a grin at his messy mop top. The two styles were near opposites.

"Perfect," they said in unison.

The next few hours were spent frittered away in front of the television, eating junk food, chatting about how awesome this summer would be and their upcoming dates, and just goofing off.

"So, whatcha wanna do?" asked Josh.

"Nothing," smiled Drake.

Josh chuckled, "Haha, yeah, brotha! That's what summers are meant for!"

The two shared a high-five and watched utterly pointless talk shows on television until it was time for Josh to go. He checked his watch and stood, brushing wrinkles from his shirt.

"Okay, bro, I gotta get goin'."

"See ya!" Drake said, flipping through the channels.

Josh sat on a bench outside Osaka, a Japanese department store, where he and Mindy had agreed to meet around 3:00. After around five minutes, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Mindy behind him, grinning.

"Hey, goof!" she smiled.

"Hey!" he smiled back and stood up to hug her.

"So, what do you wanna hit first?" she asked.

"Orange Julius is looking pretty good. Let's go on over," he gestured toward the nearby Orange Julius, grabbing Mindy's hand. "I'll treat you to whatever you want."

Mindy chuckled. "I'm actually not that hungry or thirsty, but thanks."

"Okay. Well, I'm gonna get something."

The two strode over to the stand where Josh ordered a delicious orange smoothie. He offered Mindy a taste which was politely declined. They spent two and a half hours wandering around the mall, window shopping, holding hands, and enjoying their date. Josh and Mindy even bought small gifts for each other. As their date came to an end, they strolled back toward Osaka.

"My parents are back in town again for a couple of days and my mom wondered if you'd like to come over for dinner on the thirtieth," she asked, turning to face Josh and putting her arms around his neck.

"Sure, what are you guys having?"

Mindy shrugged. "I'm not sure, really."

"Well, yeah, count me in. What time?" Josh grinned, putting his own arms around her.

Mindy arched an eyebrow in surprise. "Uhh, you're not too scared to come over after how things went last time?"

Josh laughed, "No, not at all. We cleared all that up after they saw how much I cared about you, remember?"

It was true. At first, the Crenshaws had been unnecessarily rude to him and very cold. In fact, he'd almost blown it with Mindy's parents completely when he'd invited them over for dinner and Drake's wrestling stunt with his current girlfriend upstairs had escalated to an all-out fiasco that had moved downstairs, right in view of Mindy's parents as they were trying to eat their dinner. Fortunately for him, they had stuck around in ear-shot long enough to hear him chewing Drake out for ruining his last chance to impress them, which ironically impressed them, at least enough to let him continue dating Mindy.

"Alright. We usually eat around 7:30, so come around then, k?" she smiled, and punched his shoulder affectionately.

Josh nodded and leaned in to kiss Mindy timidly. Mindy chuckled. He was still so shy about kissing her after all this time. It was cute.

"See you tomorrow, then," she smiled.

"Yeah, see ya, 7:30, on the thirtieth," he replied, letting her go. He watched her walk toward the exit and when she'd left, he let himself do a little victory dance, not caring about the odd glances he was getting from the other mall-goers in the vicinity.

Drake was gone when Josh got home, presumably on one of his dates. Mom and Dad were both still not home, and Megan was gone to summer camp. Josh smiled as he realized he had the house to himself. He had no idea how long it would last, as Drake, Mom, or Dad could come home at any time, but he was going to enjoy it while he had it.

After a while, Mom and Dad arrived, and later on, Drake. Dinner was eaten and enjoyed as a family over some television, and Drake bragged about how hot his dates had been. Josh smiled to himself, knowing he didn't need to brag about his own. After dinner, Josh excused himself upstairs and laid out his clothes for work tomorrow, during two hours of which he would be working side-by-side with Mindy.


	2. The Mysterious Journal

_**The Mysterious Journal**_

Josh woke up around 10:30 the next day and remembered he had work at 1:00. A smile crossed his face as he remembered Mindy would be there today, too. He got up and got ready, not bothering to wake Drake up yet, who was still slumbering peacefully, if not noisily, in his own bed. Getting dressed and groomed as silently as possible, he went downstairs and watched television until it was time to go to work. He was amazed Drake could sleep in all the way till one o'clock, and even later, most likely.

After arriving at The Premiere, he clocked in and took his place behind the concession stand. A rather large and burly man arrived at the counter before Josh had fully gotten set up and demanded his attention.

"I want a large popcorn," he said. "And make it snappy."

"Uhh, sure, okay. That'll be $8.50," Josh replied, as he dropped what he was doing and began

to fill a large bucket with popcorn.

"$8.50? That's extortion!" the man growled, leaning over the counter.

"Err, sorry, sir. I don't set the prices."

"Well, I ain't payin' $8.50 for that, that's for sure," he sneered.

"Then you won't be getting your large popcorn, sir. Now either pay for what you want, or go see

your movie," piped up a female voice behind Josh.

The gruff man leaned off the counter, a bit surprised, and scoffed before going off towards the

ticket taker to see whatever movie he'd bought a ticket for.

"Mindy!" smiled Josh, hugging her.

"Yep! Sorry that guy was such a jerk. Was I too mean?" she asked, looking a little guilty.

"Heh, nope!"

"Mm," she said, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth. "Well, I'm off in two hours, but until

that time, we got work together."

She took out a small, purple notebook and scribbled something into it.

"Excuse me for just a moment," she said, and Josh nodded and began polishing the snacks

counter with a cloth as he watched her stride off toward the women's bathroom.

"Josh, I want those toilets in the men's room scrubbed to a gleaming shine," came Helen's voice

as she walked by hastily with her clipboard.

Josh nodded and finished up polishing the concession counter, and then got to work cleaning up a small butter spill on the floor.

"Yo, Josh. Hook us up with some sodas and gummi bears," came a familiar voice.

Josh looked up to see Drake standing expectantly at the counter with yet another girl whom he'd never seen before.

"Who's your date?" he asked.

"I'm Molly," said the girl, smiling.

"Now hook us up, dude. The movie's about to start!" Drake insisted.

"Look, I'll cover you for now, but you're payin' me back for this later," Josh informed sternly as he got two boxes of gummi bears from behind the counter. "What sodas?"

"Medium Dr. Fizz for me, please," said Molly.

Drake piped up with, "And a large of the same for me."

Josh got the sodas as requested and Drake thanked him quickly before escorting Molly toward the ticket taker. Josh just shook his head and picked up a few stray popcorn kernels before they got smashed into the floor.

Just then, Mindy came back, smelling like fresh perfume.

"Hey, you smell good," smirked Josh. "You put that on just for me?"

"Uhh, yeah, sure," she smiled, rolling her eyes.

"So, you gotten lunch yet? Wanna eat with me before you have to go?"

"Nah, I'm not that hungry. I'm only here for four hours. I'll get something when I get home," she replied.

Josh raised an eyebrow. "Well, yeah. Me, too, but I still get hungry. Speaking of food, we're still on for tomorrow night at your house for dinner, right?"

"Of course!"

"Okay, cool. So, what's in the journal there?" grinned Josh.

Mindy looked down at the purple notebook she was carrying and hugged it to her chest.

"Uhh, nothing important. Just some things I've been writing."

"Uh huh, like looooove notes to Joshie?" he grinned.

"No, silly," Mindy chuckled.

"Oh, looooooove poems to Joshie, then?" He was enjoying teasing her.

Mindy tucked the small notebook into her belt and shook her head, grabbing a broom.

"No, not poetry, either. Look, I gotta go clean up theater one or Helen's gonna chew my head off," she said.

"Oh yeah, and I better get to the bathroom and scrub those toilets," Josh remembered.

"Ew," said Mindy. "I swear, she gives you the worst jobs on purpose."

"Don't remind me," said Josh with a puppy dog face, a face to which Mindy chuckled.

As Josh scrubbed the toilets in the men's room, he pondered what was in Mindy's diary and why she didn't seem to want to share it. He was pretty sure it was something like love notes or poems, something that would embarrass her to share. That's the only reason she'd try to keep it a secret. She didn't often like showing her mushy side. He smirked and decided he would make it his goal to sneak it away from her, eventually. Oh, yes. He would see what was inside.


	3. Dinner with the Crenshaws

_**Dinner with the **__**Crenshaws**_

Josh groomed himself meticulously, becoming a little nervous about Mindy's parents again. He sincerely hoped it would not be a repeat of the last time he'd had dinner at their house. Everything seemed to go wrong for him sometimes, and most often when he desperately needed things to go right. He was determined not to screw this one up.

He glanced at the time and started pacing back and forth in the kitchen so intensely that even Drake, who was watching television in the living room, couldn't concentrate.

"Hey, what's the deal?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm just nervous about Mindy's parents. I know they like me now, but still. What if I really screw up or something?" he asked, fidgeting nervously.

"Dude, relax. It's gonna be fine," reassured Drake, turning his attention back to the TV. "Now, can you just stop pacing or go upstairs to pace?"

"Sorry," Josh said as he sat down at the small kitchen table. He nervously began tapping his foot as he again glanced at the time.

"Should I wait a little while or get going now? I mean, I don't wanna be too late, but then again, I don't wanna be too early, because if I'm too late, then they'll think I have no manners or don't care. I wanna be punctual, but then again, if I'm too early…" Josh began to ramble.

Drake sighed and rolled his eyes. "Go!"

"Yes, sir!" cried Josh, who'd been interrupted in his ramblings, and ran out the door.

"Finally, some peace and quiet," Drake commented to himself, and threw his feet up on the living room table to enjoy himself.

Josh arrived at Mindy's house at 7:23 and sat for a few moments in the car as he tapped his thumbs on the steering wheel, debating whether it was too early to go in or not. By the time he decided that he should go in, it was 7:25 anyway, and that was close enough. He knocked on the door a couple of times, stuck his hands in his pockets, and rocked back and forth on his feet as he waited for someone to answer.

The door opened, and there stood Mindy. She took his breath away. She actually had her hair slightly curled at the ends. Her eyes sparkled behind thick, smoky lashes, and her lips shone behind lip gloss. Josh yearned to kiss her, they looked so soft. She was wearing a casual-yet-classy ensemble: a simple, collared shirt - lime sorbet in color – and jeans that seemed to have small strands of glitter woven in. He even noticed her black, leather boots' toes peeking out from the bottoms of her jeans. She looked incredible.

"You look incredible," he said, finding his voice.

She chuckled. She may have even blushed. It was hard to tell in the dim light.

"Uhh, I hope I'm not too over-dressed," he gestured to his tie.

Mindy shook her head, looking over his modest, three-piece suit.

"Nah, come on in!" She grabbed his hand and tugged him inside.

To Josh's complete surprise and delight, dinner with the Crenshaws passed without a single hitch. Dinner was a fantastic, baked salmon dish with a lot of wholesome vegetable sides, a meal of which Josh approved and appreciated greatly. Noticing how much food was left on Mindy's plate, he nudged her with his elbow.

"You not like the dinner?" he whispered while her parents were putting their plates away in the kitchen.

Mindy shrugged. "It's okay, why?"

"Just seems like you're not eating much," he said.

"I'm saving my appetite for something else later," she smirked and winked, a combination which sent Josh's mind directly into the gutter. He grinned and shook his head, trying to clear out the imagery Mindy had put into his head. The Crenshaws came back into the dining room.

"Well, Josh, it was a pleasure having you here," smiled Mindy's mother, giving Josh a look that indicated she remembered last time quite well, but harbored no ill feelings about it. "However, we've got to head on up to bed. We've got a flight out early tomorrow morning and we need to get to bed extra early for the trip."

"Oh, okay. Good night, Mrs. Crenshaw, Mr. Crenshaw." Josh smiled and gave a small wave.

"Thanks, Josh. You two go ahead and finish dinner at your leisure. When you're done, just put your plates in the sink," input Mr. Crenshaw. "Good night!"

Mindy's parents headed up the stairs and when they heard the door close, the two teens looked at each other with mischievous grins.

"Well, I think I'm done with dinner," Josh smirked.

"Me too," grinned Mindy.

Josh leaned in to kiss Mindy, something he'd been waiting to do all night. What was meant to be one, small kiss turned into a lot of long kisses and Josh was unable to tear himself away. At length, Mindy broke the kisses and preened her hair, blushing a bit.

"We better at least put the dishes away, first. Oh, and that reminds me," she mumbled, taking out her purple notebook and scribbling something in it. "All set."

"So, what is that thing, anyway? Gonna tell me yet or do I have to steal it from you?" Josh stood and grabbed his and Mindy's plates to take into the kitchen.

"Don't worry about it. It's just something I write in. I'm, uhh, just doing a project thing where I write down silly stuff as it comes to me," she chuckled.

"Mindy, you are not a very good liar," he teased.

"Heh, whatever. Anyway, I'll be right back," she said, getting up to excuse herself upstairs a moment.

Josh put the plates away and tidied the dining room table, then made himself comfy on the living room couch while he waited for Mindy's return.

She came back down again after a few moments and sat down beside him, nestling in close to him. She rested her head on his chest and he could smell a faint perfume on her.

"Mmm, you smell nice," he commented, stroking her hair.

"Thanks," said Mindy. "This time, I did put it on just for you."

After the best makeout session he and Mindy had ever shared, she invited him to come over again tomorrow evening for a movie and popcorn. "It'll be just you and me. My parents will be out of the house," she reminded him with a seductive smile. Naturally, he was quick to agree.

"Great! I'll pick out a good movie and see you here tomorrow, say, 8:00?" she asked. She stroked his cheek, rendering him unable to reply in any other manner than a slack-jawed smile and an eager nod.


	4. Uncovering the Truth

_**Uncovering the Truth**_

Work that day seemed to drag and Josh had much trouble concentrating. He couldn't stop thinking about the upcoming date with Mindy later. And her parents would be gone. He dropped the bucket of fresh popcorn directly on the floor as his mind wandered uncontrollably. The customer who'd ordered it sighed.

"Never mind," she said, and walked away.

"S-sorry," he tried, but she was out of ear-shot.

Josh drew his hands close to his chest defensively as Helen walked by. She said nothing, but she stared him down with her eyes as she passed. Josh began the tedious process of cleaning up the spill with a sigh.

"Are you okay? You seem kinda preoccupied," said Mindy above him.

He looked up to see she knew exactly why he was so off, her grin betraying that.

"Gee, can't imagine why," he smirked.

An hour later, Mindy ended her shift and went home. Two hours after that, Josh concluded his own and went home. Once he was home, he ran over to Drake, who was sitting on the living room couch drinking a soda and watching television, the two things that seemed to be the norm when Drake was home.

"Man, tonight is gonna be sa-weet, bro!" he said, snagging a sip of Drake's soda.

"Yeah? What's goin' on?" Drake asked, turning his attention to Josh with a grin.

"I'm goin' over to Mindy's tonight, and check this out: her parents aren't gonna be home!" Josh's voice was so giddy it was almost becoming falsetto.

Drake's face fell considerably, disappointed this was only something more about Mindy, and turned his attention back to the TV, but he was still smiling.

"Ah, cool. So, got any big plans, then?" he asked, nudging Josh.

"Heh, I dunno, we'll probably do a lotta kissing, but I doubt it'll go much farther than that. Anyway, I wouldn't wait up for me," he said.

"And miss out on all the juicy details?"

"I'm surprised you want details when it comes to Mindy," Josh said, genuinely surprised.

"Hey, when it comes down to it, she's still a girl… I think," he said, unable to resist getting in a jab at her. His comment elicited a small punch in the shoulder from Josh, but Josh was chuckling.

At Mindy's house, they shared some Chinese take-out, and by the end of the dinner, Mindy was rubbing her stomach.

"Ugh, I am so full," she groaned.

"Wimp," teased Josh, leaning over to see her food was only about half eaten.

Mindy just chuckled and wrote something in her purple notebook as Josh finished his own food. Josh took note of this, but decided not to mention it. Perhaps if he didn't bring it up, she'd think he'd forgotten about it, and then wouldn't guard it so much.

"So, what movie are we gonna watch?" Josh asked. He couldn't actually care any less, as he knew they likely weren't going to be watching the movie at all.

"Over the Moon," said Mindy. "It's a comedy I thought you'd like."

"Okay, cool," he grinned, putting his hands in his pockets. Just him and Mindy, all alone, in a dark living room. It was going to be makeout city. He chuckled and rubbed his hands together.

"I'm gonna run to the bathroom and freshen up really quick and then we can start that movie, okay?" said Mindy, kissing Josh's cheek.

Josh grinned and chuckled, "Okay, sure."

"Okay, be back in a sec," said Mindy, and she headed up the stairs to the bathroom in such a hurry that she forgot her journal, an act which did not go unnoticed by a mischievous Josh.

Once Mindy was fully upstairs, Josh backpedaled toward the couch where Mindy had left her notebook, keeping a keen eye toward the stairs all the while. With a smug smirk, he eagerly snatched the notebook and flipped it open with a victorious chuckle held moderately under his breath.

"I am victorious!" His smile soon fell into a puzzled look at the contents.

_11:00 - 25_

_5:30 - 40_

_10:00 - 15_

A large "eighty" was circled in red. On the next sheet seemed to be the same sort of material, and on the sheet after that. Flipping confusedly towards the last page, he saw another string of numbers that made a little more sense.

_9:00 - 20_

_1:00 - 15_

_7:30 - 65_

_7:30 is when we ate dinner last night_, he thought, looking up for a moment. Then he returned his attention to the book and saw she'd written in a few numbers that corresponded to the dinner they just ate, and it hit him. Everything became clear. This was her record of calories consumed each day. He suddenly realized why she kept the journal such a secret. She wanted no one to know just how little she was eating. He suddenly realized why she went to the bathroom every time she ate. She was making herself throw up. And he suddenly realized why she always came back smelling like perfume. She wasn't freshening up for him. She was using air freshener to cover up.

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs made him turn and he saw a cheerful Mindy coming down. She walked over to him, smiling mischievously and smelling like perfume, or air freshener.

"So, the 'rents are gone," she said, putting her arms around his waist, "and it's just you and me."

She grinned up at him, but drew back when he met her flirtatious nature with a cold, almost angry gaze. Then he held up his hand. She hesitated a moment as she saw her journal in it. Her cheer dissipated and she looked guiltily at him, shrinking away with her hands behind her back.

"Mindy, I know what you've been doing," he said, looking upset.

"What, you mean with the journal?" she asked, trying to play it cool.

"With the journal, the bathroom, everything," he replied.

"Well, so what? I'm just trying to stay in shape. Is that so wrong?"

"It is when you're throwing up and only consuming an average of 90 calories each day," he said in disbelief, voice rising. How could she not possibly comprehend what a terrible thing she was doing to herself?

"Relax, Josh. It's not like I throw up every time I eat. I just do it when I've eaten too much," she said, chuckling and punching his shoulder.

She was trying to play it down, because it really wasn't that serious. But his stony eyes met hers without a glimmer of humor seen in the situation.

"Mindy, how can you do this? As smart as you are, I can't believe you'd be stupid enough to do this to your own body! Do you have any idea what you're doing?!"

The smile on Mindy's face faded and her eyes narrowed. The insecure facade of merriment was soon replaced by defensive anger. "Look, why are you making such a big deal out of this?" she asked, temper rising.

"Because it_ is _a big deal!" Josh shot back.

"Okay, listen. I know my body better than you or anyone else and no one can tell me how I should take care of it. I'm old enough to make those kinds of decisions on my own, and if you have a problem with that, then maybe you should just leave!" She pointed angrily toward the door. "And give me my notebook back," she quipped, snatching it from his hands.

The look of disappointment shone on his face made her grimace inside.

Josh couldn't comprehend the severity of the situation, or how deeply in denial Mindy was about her problem, or the fact that he thought he knew her so well and actually didn't at all. He couldn't comprehend any of that. He just needed to get out of there and think for a while. He stared at Mindy a few moments, her angry scowl and pointing finger motioning toward the door. He finally nodded and numbly left, vaguely aware she'd snatched back her notebook.


	5. A Brother to Count on

_**A Brother to Count on**_

Drake put down his guitar and took off his headphones as Josh suddenly opened the door and just as suddenly closed it behind him, jumping a bit at the unexpectedness of his arrival and slightly concerned he'd wake up Mom and Dad.

"Yo, how'd it go?" he asked.

Josh ran his fingers through his hair and looked around the room, eyes settling on his blank monitor. "It was fine," he lied. The lie was useless, as Drake could easily spot Josh's emotions as if he wore them on his sleeves.

"Hey, what happened, man?" he said, picking up on his brother's anxiety. Then he grinned and scooted closer on the bed, leaning in. "Did you and Mindy finally go all the way or something?"

Josh threw his jacket onto the couch in frustration. "No, we did not 'go all the way or something', Drake," he snapped a bit more sharply than he meant.

Drake recoiled in surprise and held up his hands.

"Okay, okay! Sorry, man," he said.

Josh was irritated that that was all that ever seemed to be on Drake's mind. But then again, he couldn't blame him. Drake had no idea what was going on. After all, only a few minutes ago, even he'd been clueless. He'd thought Mindy's notebook contained things as innocent as gooey love notes or mushy poetry. Josh let out a sigh and flopped down on the couch, drained.

"Drake, there's a problem," he said.

Without another moment's hesitation, Drake hopped down from his bed and went to the mini fridge to get a couple of cold sodas before plopping down by Josh.

"Spill," he said, nudging Josh's soda his way and taking a sip from his own.

Josh stared vacantly at the soda. "I don't know who else I can tell. You gotta promise this doesn't leave this room, do you understand?"

Interest piqued, Drake nodded, sipped, and said, "Yeah, sure. What's up?"

"You know that notebook Mindy's been carrying around?" he asked.

Drake nodded. "Sure, the one she clutches onto all the time?"

"The very one."

"What about it?"

Josh turned his head to look at Drake and paused a moment, trying to retake in everything that had transpired between him and Mindy and shook his head. "It's Mindy's calorie diary."

"Calorie diary?" asked Drake, confused.

"Yeah, I don't know what else to call it," said Josh, gesturing wildly with his hands. "She went to the bathroom and left it unguarded, and I opened it up, and -- Drake, she's only eating, like, ninety calories a day!"

Groaning at Drake's blank face, he grabbed his unopened soda bottle and turned the nutrition label his way. "Look, there are a hundred and twenty in this bottle alone. She's having fewer calories every _day_ than are even in this one bottle of soda!"

"Jeeze!" Drake choked on the soda he'd been sipping, realizing how severe this was.

Josh nodded. "Yeah, and that's not all. I found out she's also making herself throw up after she eats."

"Like bilaria or something?"

"Bulimia, Drake, bulimia! And anorexia, too, I guess. Jeeze, I dunno what to think. I mean, I thought it was just something silly like... poetry or something, something she was too embarrassed to share. But, it's like, it's this food diary and she's not eating..." Josh trailed off, hiding his hands in his face.

"But why does she even want to do that stuff? I mean, she's already really skinny. In fact, she could stand to gain a few pounds," Drake said, setting the soda, which had suddenly lost its appeal, down.

Josh sighed, "You don't understand anorexics or bulimics. I mean, neither do I, really, but I know they can't see themselves normally, the way everyone else does. She can't see how skinny she's getting. Man, I thought I knew her, but she's got this whole other side she was hiding from me. She won't even admit she needs help."

Josh just shook his head, still in disbelief. He had to admit as he looked back, he could see Mindy getting thinner and thinner, but he hadn't put two and two together before. He thought it could be her clothes, or maybe she was just losing a little weight and would gain it back, no big deal. He hadn't really been paying much attention to her slowly thinning frame at all, because he'd been paying so much attention to all the fun they were having. He'd just been enjoying her company. The two sat in silence a moment, both staring at the off television.

"I don't know how bad it's gotten," Josh finally broke the silence. "I think it's been going on for a long time. I'm really worried about her. I'm not sure how much more weight she could stand to lose, how many more days she could go on only eating a few calories, before..."

Drake put his hand on Josh's shoulder. "Look, man, don't do that, okay? You caught it in time. You can intervene. You can set this straight before it's -- before something happens, you know?"

Josh nodded and looked at his hands as he wrung them nervously in his lap.

"I'm just so worried, man." Josh's face wrinkled up as he fought back tears.

Drake leaned in and hugged his brother as he started to let loose all the anxiety that had built up, his body shaking and his sobs heaving.

"Here, have a drink," Drake said after Josh had calmed a little. "Just be cool and we can think this through, alright?"

Josh nodded and blotted his eyes, emotionally spent from everything he'd learned, the argument he'd had with Mindy, and the recounting of it all to Drake. He decided to take his brother's advice and sipped down a meager amount of soda, pleased at how cooling it was to his throat.

"I don't know who to tell, though. Her parents are gone all the time, and I really don't want her to hate me for telling. I mean, I'm only doing it because I love... you know, because I care about her, but she's not gonna see it that way. She's gonna hate me for it. But I can't just sit back and let her destroy herself."

"Yeah, she'll probably hate you at first, 'til she gets the help she needs. Then she'll understand why you did it, and she'll be grateful she's got someone who loves... who cares about her so much," said Drake.

Josh tried to force a small smile. "I hope you're right. I just don't know who to tell. It can't be just anyone. This has to be as confidential as possible, or this could ruin her life as much as the disorder itself. But she has to get reliable help, too."

"Why not Mom and Dad?" suggested Drake.

"Think they could help?" Josh asked hopefully.

"Dude, they're Mom and Dad. They always help us out with sticky situations like this. It's, like, their job or something."

Josh reluctantly chuckled, relieved Drake was able to calm him down and bring him back to his senses. "Okay, I'll tell Mom and Dad, but I wanna talk to Mindy on my own a little more, first."

"Okay, bro. Whatever you want, alright? I'm here for ya."

"Thanks. Thanks a lot, Drake."

The two finished their sodas before exchanging weary goodnights and climbing into their respective beds for a round of sleep.

* * *

_**I hope it's not just terrible! I haven't gotten many reviews **__**a'tall**__**, so if I could trouble you, please leave your mark. **__****__**Thanks:)**_


	6. Questions, No Answers

_**Questions, No **__**Answers**_

Josh walked into The Premiere a bit nervous. Now that his thoughts were in order, he had a lot he wanted to say and even more he wanted to ask. But Mindy's reaction last night made him nervous. He wasn't sure how well she'd take his bringing it up. However, it was unavoidable, and they both knew it. Work wasn't the best place to talk about this, but it was the first and only chance he had, and waiting until after work to talk about it seemed impossible. No, he wanted answers now. Surely he could convince her what she was doing was bad for her.

As he entered, he saw Mindy working a very busy concession stand. _Why is it so busy today?_ He wondered. Then he remembered today was the premiere of Blood and Guts IV. They'd probably be swamped all day with patrons trying to see that, and that would limit the time they had to talk considerably.

"Hey, Mindy," he said timidly as he took his place behind the concession stand.

"I need two large popcorns, a box of Senior Mints, and a medium Dr. Fizz," she said, handing out various other snacks to the mob of customers.

He nodded and complied, getting the requested items and handing them to her. Eventually, the crowd died down and he had a chance to talk to Mindy, who was busy polishing the snacks counter which sorely needed polishing.

"Can we talk?" he asked gently.

"I'm very busy now, Josh," she said.

"I know, but I don't think this should wait," he insisted. "Please?"

"Fine, what?" She threw the cloth onto the counter and turned to face him, hands on hips. Josh couldn't help noticing how bony she was, now.

"Look, what you're doing, it's not healthy," Josh said.

"I'm still alive, aren't I?" she snapped sarcastically.

"What, you wanna wait till it's too late? Is that it?" he asked, trying to keep his voice down.

"I told you, it's my business. I'm fine, Josh. Nothing's going to happen. I've got it under control, okay? I still get plenty of nutrition. I'm fine." She turned to start polishing the counter again.

Josh put a hand on her shoulder. "Mindy, you gotta listen to me."

"No, you gotta listen to _me,_ Josh. I'm going to continue doing this, and you can't stop me. So just back off!" She jerked away from his hand and left the concession stand to get the broom. He was about to go after her when a customer came up, and by the time he had served the customer, Mindy was gone. He sighed. She stayed out of the way for the rest of her shift, and came back only when it was time for her to go home. As she clocked out, Josh tried one more time.

"Hey, I'm only trying to get you to see what you're doing because I care," he said, putting down the dust pan he had been using to sweep up popcorn.

"I do see what I'm doing. Why can't you just drop this?" she said, snatching her jacket. A cold front was moving in.

"Why can't you just admit you have a problem?" _Damn, mistake_, he thought, catching her glare. _Way too blaming._ "What I meant was—" he started, trying to fix it, but it was too late.

"Goodbye, Josh," she glared, putting her jacket on, flipping her hair, and leaving.

_Damn!_ He kicked himself for messing up yet another important situation. _Why didn't I pick my words more carefully?_

Josh served two more mobs of customers before he was able to close up and go home. When he got in, he said hello to his parents, who were in the kitchen making dinner, and went upstairs where Drake was, practicing guitar.

"Hey, how did it go?" Drake asked as Josh came in.

"Ehh, not too good. And that's my fault. I kinda said the wrong things and it just made her more defensive," admitted Josh.

"What did you say?" inquired a curious Drake.

"I asked her why she couldn't just admit she had a problem. Not my best choice of words," he sighed, flopping down on the couch. "I'm gonna try to call her."

Josh whipped out his cell phone and dialed Mindy's number. She didn't answer.

"Ah, man, she's totally ignoring me," he said, hanging up and sounding defeated.

"She probably just needs time to cool off," said Drake, strumming a chord on his guitar.

"Yeah. Well, she doesn't have work tomorrow, so maybe that'll be enough time for her to calm down. I guess I'll try again later. She has to talk to me eventually, right?" Josh flicked on the TV and sat back, trying to take his mind off the situation. There was nothing more he could do for the time being.


	7. Terrible Day, Terrible News

_**Terrible Day, Terrible News**_

It was a rainy, windy, gray, drab day. The weather seemed to not only reflect Josh's mood perfectly, but also to exacerbate it. It was 1:00, and Josh was just heading in to start his shift at The Premiere. It had rained excessively all day so far, causing massive puddles and rushing water down into the gutters, and it currently showed no sign of slowing down. Pausing outside the theater, he grabbed his cell phone and began punching the buttons, trying to call Mindy yet again - an action he was sure was frivolous. All the same, he was compelled to at least try.

As he suspected, she didn't answer. Instead, he tried texting her. If he couldn't get her to pick up, maybe she would at least read his messages. The rain was coming down all over the screen and he could hardly tell if he was texting the right thing. Then, he lost his grip on the phone, which slipped right out of his hands and into an enormous puddle in the gutter.

"Ah, come on!" he exclaimed before kneeling down to fish it out. To his frustration, he discovered it had ruined his phone, at least for the time being, as it wouldn't even turn on. Muttering in irritation, he slammed the phone into his pocket just in time to be hit by an enormous blast of water coming from a car driving by. He glowered a moment, a trademark Josh look on his face, and then wiped his face off before entering the theater.

"I have got to get to the bathroom and clean up before Helen sees me," he mumbled aloud to himself.

"Boy, what are you doin', comin' into my theater lookin' like some kinda drowned rat?"

The shrill voice of his boss stopped him in his tracks and he arched his shoulders and turned slowly to face her.

"Going to clean up now, Helen," he informed her. "Car splashed me."

"Mmm-hmm, well, get a jump on it. You're needed in theater three! Someone's broken one of the arm rests and it needs repairin'!" she snapped before flitting off.

Josh gritted his teeth, seething for a moment before he turned to go back toward the men's room. He was stopped a second time, though, by Gavin, who held up a tool box for him.

"Here, you're gonna need this."

"Why don't you fix it, Gavin? I'm very busy and I need to dry off," Josh quipped.

Gavin let loose a smileless chuckle. "Yeah, right. My shift ends in ten minutes. That's just enough time for me to get prepared to go."

Josh rolled his eyes and snatched the tool box, watching Gavin leave. As he turned to go back into the bathroom, the tool box sprung open, dropping several tools all over the floor, and a large hammer right on Josh's foot. This day was turning out terrible, and worst of all, Mindy was off today, so he wouldn't even get the chance to try to talk to her at work.

The rest of Josh's day turned out exactly as anyone observing his afternoon might have expected: the same. Between Helen's screaming at him for various, absurd reasons, complaining customers, and Crazy Steve letting loose on him for simply asking the time, he finally made it through to closing time and went home.

Josh came inside at the exact moment Drake was running outside, and the two collided with enough force that they each nearly fell backwards.

"Augh!" cried Josh, holding a hand to his bumped forehead.

"Josh!" said Drake, steadying himself and grabbing Josh's arms with both of his hands.

"What, what?" Josh was still a bit irritated at the painful collision.

"I've been trying to reach you for, like, an hour! Where have you been?!"

"I dropped my phone in a puddle and I haven't been able to get it working again yet. Jeeze, what's the big emergency?"

"The hospital just called. Mindy's been admitted!"

* * *

**_Ooh, cliffhanger! Sorry it was such a short chapter. Thanks to all my readers, but special thanks to all my reviewers. The reveiws mean a lot to me and I take them all to heart! Thanks so much!_**


	8. Realization

_**Realization**_

The world seemed to fade away to blackness, and Drake's voice, to an echo. Time seemed frozen for a moment as the news sunk in. Mindy? In the hospital? Could that be true? There was no time to process this information in reality, so his brain tried to make time by numbing itself to all outside stimuli. Even Drake's rapid shaking couldn't bring Josh's brain back to reality at full speed. The words finally sunk in.

Josh stammered, "The hospital? Well, wh-which hospital?!"

"St. Schneider's! Hurry! We gotta get to the car and go!"

Josh nodded. "I think you better drive," he said weakly.

The car lights blurred together in the streaking rain on the windshield as did the minutes of the clock. It was difficult to discern how long the car trip took. It just didn't seem real. Josh couldn't get the gears in his mind to turn the way the crank seemed to be trying to crank them. He simply couldn't wrap his mind around what Drake had told him. He wasn't sure if minutes or seconds had passed when he finally stirred in the passenger seat to face Drake.

"Did they say why? Was it because of her eating disorder?" he asked, afraid of the answer.

Without taking his eyes off the road, Drake shrugged.

"I have no idea," he answered.

He knew it was, but It didn't really matter why, Josh figured. All that mattered was that Mindy was in the hospital. She was in danger. And he knew it was all his fault. If he had just told someone instead of waiting… Within a few blinks, it seemed they were at the hospital, parked, and walking toward the entrance, although it felt more like he was floating to Josh. He was floating weightlessly and uncontrollably toward the hospital entrance, a place he wasn't sure he was prepared to enter.

"I called Mom and Dad. They're on their way. Or, they were thirty minutes ago. They might already be here, I don't know," said Drake, barely registering in Josh's mind.

Josh mechanically replied, "What about Mindy's parents? Do they know? Are they here?"

Drake shrugged as they walked up to the help desk. "Sorry, I don't have a lot of information. But I bet she will," he gestured to the nurse behind the help desk with his chin and put his hands in his jacket pockets.

"May I help you boys?" an elderly nurse asked.

"We're looking for our friend, Mindy Crenshaw. She's here somewhere, we just need to find her," said Drake.

Josh was grateful Drake was collected enough to take the reins, because he knew he was certainly in no position to drive or ask for room numbers and the likes. The nurse clicked a few keys on the keyboard.

"Catania, Catterton, Christopher, Crenshaw. Ah, here, Mindy Crenshaw. She's in room 205. You'll get there fastest if you take the stairs here to my left," said the elderly nurse, pointing toward the stairs.

"Thanks," Drake said hastily, grabbing Josh's arm and tugging him up toward the stairs.

The two made their way up the stairs as quickly as they could, and once at the top, Drake began looking for room numbers.

"199, 197, no, these are going down. Other way," he said, dragging Josh back down the other side of the hallway. The numbers seemed to be moving in slow motion, creeping up on Josh steadily and undeniably. 199. 201. 203. He took a deep breath as 205 approached, unsure he'd be able to go in. But when 205 finally did show itself and he realized Mindy was just on the other side of the door, needing him, he tore free of Drake and burst into the room.


	9. Whose Fault

_**Whose**__** Fault**_

Unprepared for what he might see, he was relieved when he saw Mindy awake and conscious. She turned her head to see who had entered, and burst into tears when she saw Josh. Josh ran to her bed side and hugged her, and she hugged weakly back.

"I'm sorry," she choked.

"Mindy, what happened?" asked Josh, pulling back. "Are you okay?"

"I was out doing some errands and I just... I don't know. I remember feeling light-headed, but I didn't think anything about it because it usually goes away. But it didn't, and then I remember the floor coming closer and that's it," she burbled, wiping her eyes.

Josh grabbed a tissue from the side table and handed it to her after wiping her tears with it. He held her hands as she calmed herself. He felt like a wreck on the inside, but he knew he shouldn't show it. Mindy needed him to be strong for her right now.

"Do your parents know you're here?" Josh asked, giving her hand a squeeze.

Mindy shook her head. "No, I couldn't tell them. I just wanted them to call you. I needed to see you first. But I will," she added, seeing the look on Josh's face. "I know I have to." She hung her head. "I can't keep hiding it anymore."

Drake stood at the door, not sure how far he should come in. He wanted to give Josh enough distance and space to deal with all this, but at the same time, he wanted to be there for him if he needed him. He was about to speak when a nurse came in behind him and spoke first.

"I'm afraid you two are going to have to wait in the waiting room for a little while," she said. "We need to talk to Mindy alone and go over some treatment options. But visiting can resume afterwards," she smiled.

Josh looked at the nurse, then at Mindy, and then at the nurse again and nodded, standing up.

"I'll come back as soon as I can, okay?" he tried to reassure her.

Mindy just nodded and wiped away the newly forming tears.

Once the two were outside, Josh exhaled, and leaned against the wall. He slowly slid down, his legs unable to hold him up any longer. He felt his knees shaking. He could finally show what a wreck he was and was overtaken, slumping to the floor. Drake sat down beside him.

"Are you okay, man?"

Josh put his head in his hands and ran his fingers nervously through his hair. He was on the verge of tears and his voice cracked as he spoke, "I can't help thinkin' if I'd just said something when I found out instead of trying to wait to talk some sense into her--"

"No, don't, Josh. Don't blame yourself for this, man. You were doing all you could do. You were doing what you thought was right."

"But it wasn't right, was it, Drake?" he snapped angrily. He was angry at himself for not intervening when he had the chance. He was very lucky worse hadn't happened to Mindy.

Drake sighed and just looked at Josh, unsure how else to comfort him. The sparkle that usually lit his brother's eyes seemed to have gone out. Instead, they were just dull placeholders inside a withered shell. The toll the stress of the past few days had taken on him showed throughout his tired, pale face.

"We don't even know for sure that's why she's here, you know?"

"Oh, come on. What thread of hope is it exactly that you're still trying to cling to? Did you see her? She's practically a skeleton. That _is_ why she's here, Drake. That _is_ why she collapsed."

Drake just let out a long, heavy sigh.

"I shouldn'ta waited," he said. "I just shouldn'ta waited."Drake put his hand on his brother's shoulder and patted him."It's not your fault, man," he said."Well, maybe it is, maybe it isn't. It doesn't really matter whose fault it is now, does it?""Boys! Boys! Oh, thank God!" two familiar voices cried out from down the hallway.


	10. A Long Road Ahead of Her

_**A Long Road Ahead of Her**_

"Oh, Josh! Drake!"

Josh and Drake looked up to see their parents walking hastily toward them, jackets in hands.

"Is everything okay? What happened?" asked Audrey as she approached.

Walter and Audrey both sat down in the hallway outside Mindy's room and hugged the two boys.

It was a difficult and grueling task for Josh, even with Drake's help, to recount all the events that had led up to Mindy's admittance. As they talked, Walter and Audrey led the two boys to the nearby waiting room, nodding in understanding as Josh explained.

"And I know that's why she's here. I was going to tell you guys, but only as a last resort. I wanted to try to talk to her more first, but I guess that took time I didn't realize I didn't have," finished Josh. His mom just hugged him and stroked his hair.

"Well, her parents do need to know," she finally reasoned.

"I know," he said. "She's going to call them and tell them when she's more settled. They need her parents to fly back anyway, you know, to go over treatment options and bills and insurance and all that stuff."

"I'm going to call Megan and tell her what's happened," said Audrey, taking her cell phone out of her purse and dialing Megan's number.

"I'm proud of you, Josh," said Walter. "You're doing everything you can in a hard situation. We're all here for you."

"Thanks, Dad," Josh said, giving a hesitant smile. He still didn't feel all that proud. He still felt rather guilty, no matter how much Drake had insisted he shouldn't.

An hour and a half later, Mindy's nurse came to the waiting room and informed the family that she could have visitors again for the time being.

"Josh, go on ahead, honey. It's probably best if you and Mindy discuss this alone for a while first," said his understanding mother, with accompanying nods from his father and brother.

Josh nodded and drew in a nervous breath, standing. He made his way back to Mindy's room and opened the door. When he entered, she looked up at him. He came back over to her bed side and sat down, holding her hands. She now had an IV hooked to her arm.

"How are you feeling?" asked Josh.

"Sore," she shrugged. "I've been poked and injected with tons of stuff." She gestured to her IV. "Still am."

Josh nodded. "I hope you feel better," he said in a soft voice.

"Thanks."

The two sat in silence for a moment, both feeling guilty and neither sure what to say.

"I called my parents," she finally said. "They're on their way."

"Good," he said. "I know that was hard for you to do, but I'm proud of you."

She nodded and hung her head. "I'm really sorry, Josh," she said, staring at hands. "You were right, I was wrong. I didn't realize how out of control I was. I'm so ashamed. Now my parents know. I feel completely untrustworthy. I thought I knew what I was doing. I just don't know how it got so out of control," she said, and Josh could tell she meant it in earnest.

"Don't worry," he smiled reassuringly. "You're safe now, and we're going to get you all the help you need, okay? I'm with you every step of the way."

They exchanged smiles. "Okay," she said.

Seeing her smile made Josh feel that everything really would be okay. He stared at her and realized she would get through this, and he would help her through every obstacle she would come across on her road to recovery. He would hold her hand through it all and see to it that she stayed healthy and safe. He knew she had a long road ahead of her. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but important things never are, and Mindy was worth all the trouble in the world.

**--------------------------------------------------------**

**Teehee****, did you notice how I snuck in key names from the show's credits in the ****fic****, the same way the writers of the show do? St. Schneider****'****s (which ****really did exist ****in a Drake and Josh episode as ****an homage to Dan Schneider) as well as Catania (Joe Catania) in the list of names the nurse rattled off? Well, that's it! Thank you all for reading this and big, special thanks to my reviewers! I hope you enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun writing it. And happy Thanksgiving!**


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